Many people think that self confidence comes from doing things that we are good at.
The trouble with such a mindset is that we do not feel confident when we are doing things which we are not yet good at, for example things that we have not tried before. Thinking this way lets us feel confident only with things which we are familiar or when things are going smoothly.
Such a limiting mindset known as reactive confidence leaves us feeling inadequate much of the time.
Familiarity and being good at one’s job are often confused with true self confidence. However, reactive confidence is not transferable. Move out of their comfort zone, and people with reactive confidence will have their confidence crumble like a stack of cards.
When we derive our confidence only from things we are good at, it would mean that most of the time we feel inadequate as we are not always doing familiar things.
Reactive self confidence is the effect of doing something well (the cause), so it cannot exist separately from its cause.
Indeed, people with a reactive confidence mindset tend to cocoon themselves in their comfort zone, and avoid anything new.
True self confidence does not rely on such a narrow track record. It comes from knowing that when we set our mind on something, we can make it so and it will be so.
The source of true self confidence is the empowering belief that we have all the internal resources in us to achieve our intention, vision and goals.
We only need to hold that belief and allow ourselves to be great.
When faced with challenges, people who are truly self confident know that no challenge can withstand their sustained attention. They research, evaluate, make plans and face their challenges with inspired action, great gusto, and dogged determination.
They know that people who will help them, financial and physical resources that they need, information resources, clients, and other necessary things, will appear. Their finely tuned Reticular Activating System programmed with their intention, vision and goals will pick these out from the universe.
True self confidence is not derived from results – there may be many setbacks before success – but it is based on our trust in ourselves that we can find the ways through or around our challenges.
So, true self confidence is a choice.
It is not something that only some lucky people have. It is something that anyone who wants it can have.
True self confidence is a cause and good outcomes are its effects.
The litmus test of true self confidence is adaptability – true self confidence can be transferred from one context to another.
True self confidence can only be tested in unfamiliar territory. A truly self confident person chooses to move towards unfamiliar territory. This is the unmistakable trait of the truly self confident.
Sir Richard Branson is an example of a truly confident person. His Virgin Group consists of over 400 companies around the world dealing in diverse industries such as travel, publishing, entertainment, retail, telecommunications, and motorsport.
In future posts, I will explain brain based techniques to be truly self confident.