Power Your Vision with Dreams

Using the 100th Birthday Speech method, you have created a vision of your best self for specific aspects of your life. I am going to share with you some ways to create plans, and to inspire you to take massive action to achieve your vision.

One of the ways is to harness the power of our dreams.

Our dreams are very powerful problem solving and inspirational tools.

That’s why we sometimes solved personal or work problems by "sleeping on it".

This is because when we sleep, our minds do not turn off; quite the contrary, it becomes very active when we dream. Through dreams, our minds continue to work out solutions to our life and work problems, tapping into our innate creativity and problem solving skills to do so.

Let me show you a couple of famous examples of the power of dreams.

Friedrich August Kekulé von Stradonitz discovered the chemical-organic "Structure Theory", not by experimentation alone but also by dreams!

Twice Kekulé had dreams that led to major discoveries!

Kekulé in a speech given at the German Chemical Society told the distinguished gathering that ideas for the Structural Theory first occurred to him when he was dreaming after falling asleep on a public bus while thinking about the theory.

Another dream led to the breakthrough that revealed the molecular structure of Benzene.

While thinking about the structure of Benzene on his fireside chair, Kekulé fell asleep and dreamt about twining, twisting, and whirling snakes. One of the snakes even seized its own tail. The snake seizing it's own tail gave Kekulé the circular structure idea he needed to solve the Benzene riddle that confounded scientists for years!

Kekulé told his colleagues, “Let us learn to dream!”

In 1964, golfer Jack Nicklaus was having a bad slump and routinely shooting poor scores. He then had a dream about a new golf swing which he credits for helping him suddenly regain his top form and scores.

Nicklaus said he was thinking about what could be plaguing his swing, when he fell asleep and dreamt of himself hitting good swings. He realized that in the dream he wasn't holding the club the way he had been holding it lately.

When he woke, Nicklaus held the club the way he did in his dream, and his top form and scores magically returned.

Like Kekulé and Nicklaus we too can harness the power of dreams.

Think about your vision during the few minutes before you fall asleep. If you have a vision board, take a look at it and let your mind wonder and marvel at your vision.

Let your unconscious mind take over and work on your visions while you sleep.

Trust your unconscious mind to come up with creative solutions in your dreams.

Have a note book and pen at your bedside. When you wake, recall and write down the dreams that you had before getting out of bed and doing anything else.

One of your dreams could be the key to achieving your vision.

What is Your Story?

All of us have a life story. Our life is a story.

Everyday we are writing our story, word by word, sentence by sentence, page by page, whether we are aware of it or not.

How will our story end? Does our story have a happy, triumphant ending? a sad, tragic ending?

We can predict the ending by looking at how our life story is unfolding….. We know how the story will end by looking at what are its undergirdings. By this I mean what is guiding our actions, and thus our results.

What are our beliefs, values and attitudes? They are there influencing our actions whether we are aware of them or not.

What are our goals? There is no direction without goals.

What are our habits? What do we do when we meet with difficulties? What do we do when we are blessed with abundance?

Whether we write our story consciously or not, there are patterns in our daily living. From these patterns we can tell how our story will unfold.

The ability to write our own story is a uniquely human gift. No other living thing has this gift.

Yet not all of us use this unique and powerful opportunity. Some of us let other people write our story. Some just let circumstances write their story.

I will be exploring ways to write our life story ourselves. If we can design a wonderful life for ourselves, why not?

One of the ways is to pattern our story after the Hero’s Journey. Mythologist Joseph Campbell found after studying thousands of hero stories across the world and through the ages that all hero stories follow a certain pattern. We can design our own hero’s journey by using this pattern.

We can also write our life story by designing it backwards. We start by writing the last chapter - our 100th Birthday Speech. This speech describes us at 100 years old and our life achievements in key aspects of our life. With this 100th Birthday Speech we can plan backwards and live forward to achieve our goals.

The Magic Question - What Can I Give?

What is the answer to the question, “Who am I, really?”

We ask different questions at different stages of our lives.

At puberty and early childhood, we are preoccupied with questions of identity. We ask, “Who am I, really?”

This is the mother-lode of all questions about our life. It’s not a question we answer by saying, “I’m an engineer” or “I’m a dad.” It’s a question that requires deeper responses, like what I value, what brings me joy, what motivates me, the way I want to live my life.

Many of us never found the answer in our lifetime. Some which we thought were answers led instead to stress, disease, and even tragedies.

I believe we need to ask another question in order to get the answer to this one. We need a bit of reverse engineering.

In their elder years, people look back and ask themselves, had it all been worthwhile? What have I done with my life? Have I contributed anything of lasting value? What’s my legacy?

People tend not to ask these questions when they are young.

We don’t have to wait until we are old before we ask the question, “What have I given?” The earlier we ask the question, “What can I give?” the earlier we become wise enough to know the answer to the question, “Who am I really?”

Gandhi said that the best way to find ourselves is to lose ourselves in the service of others. The answer to “Who am I, really?” has to be found by answering the call “What can I give?”

Many Americans led fulfilling, purposeful lives by answering President Kennedy’s call to his countrymen to ask not what their country can do for them, but to ask what they can do for their country.

We get the most out of life not by taking what we can for ourselves, but by giving to others. Ask yourself - What have I done lately to help people out? Have I been kind to people? Have I been compassionate? Have I been there for anyone? Listened? Volunteered for those in need?

The magic question “What can I give?” is like a switch.

Our life force flows when we ask what we can give.

When we ask "What can I give?" we will look for our talents and gifts. What we look for, we will find. We will live a life of gratitude with an abundance mindset.

Asking the question, “What can I get” only leads to life sapping busyness. We become frantic go-getters.

When we ask "What can I get?" we will be looking for what is missing in our life. We will live a life of stress with a scarcity mindset.

Change your question from “what can I get” to “what can I give” and change your life.

As Aristotle said, your profession is where your talent and the needs of the world meet.

Find yourself, become a go-giver.

The Power of Nicknames

Now that you know the attributes of your authentic self, giving your authentic self a nickname is one of the ways you can stay connected with your true self.

Your nickname is like your super-hero identity.

Your nickname shall have two parts. The first part is an adjective (descriptive word) and the second part a noun.

Nicknames are metaphors that basically say "A is B" e.g. Edmund is a Creative Genius.

A metaphor makes a strong association between A and B. Everything about B is attributed to A. Thus A effectively becomes B i.e. Edmund becomes a Creative Genius. All attributes that a Creative Genius has, Edmund has.

The power of nicknames comes from the way that metaphors changes you by bringing new thinking and ideas, extending and changing the way that you think about yourself. (Click on this link for more on metaphors)

Furthermore, your nickname keeps your authentic self in focus as your nickname constantly reminds you of your authentic self and all its attributes. What you focus on expands and where attention goes energy flows.

This nickname creating exercise is simple, fun, and can literary be life changing.

Step 1 - Choose an adjective that best describes the authentic you. Come up with an adjective of your own choice, as you know yourself best.

Step 2 - Next choose a noun that best describes your authentic self. Again, come up with a noun of your own choice, as you know yourself best.

Step 3 - Now combine the adjective and noun that you have chosen to form your nickname. For example, Soaring Eagle, Resolute Rose, Amazing Star, Genius Artist, etc.

Here are some other examples of nicknames – of famous people.

The giving of nicknames is a powerful thing. To name yourself is to define yourself. To name yourself is to control how you see yourself.

Use this power to empower yourself.

Allow me to end this post on a lighter note with a nickname joke, just for laughs.

A Simple Method to Craft Personal Mission Statements

Hero's Journey Exercise

Wheel of Life

As life is multifaceted, any powerful and lasting approach to personal growth and healing must encompass all aspects of our being.

The Wheel of Life is a simple and powerful tool that allows you to take a visual snapshot of your life as it is in the present moment. The Wheel of Life maps each area of our life on a circle, like the spokes of a wheel. The Wheel of Life encourages us to consider holistically all important aspects of our lives. By capturing all the key aspects of our life on just one page, the Wheel of Life promotes Whole Life Thinking ™ and prompts us to Ask Life Big Questions Now™.

Step 1 – Pick your Areas of Attention. The Wheel of Life has eight spokes, each representing a key facet of your life. First decide which 8 aspects are the most important to you. The list below contains some suggestions to help you choose. You can, of course, also create you own aspects.

Of course you're not limited to 8 aspects - it's just a useful number. Feel free to use fewer aspects or add more.

Step 2 – Decide Where You are Now. The rim of your wheel - outer edge - is 10 (you are totally satisfied), while the centre of the wheel is 0 (not even a little bit satisfied with that aspect of your life). Give each of the eight chosen aspects of your life a score out of 10, and mark a cross on the relevant spoke. Next, draw a line across each segment (or join the crosses) to reflect your score out of 10. (Remember to date your chart, so that you can come back later and assess your progress.)

So if this wheel represents your life right now, is it a bumpy ride?

Step 3 – Set Your Intentions. Now you know where you are at in each segment, the next step is to work out what your perfect 10 would look like. What does a 10 feel like? Write down your thoughts. Make it as vivid as possible. At this stage, think only of what you want and don’t be distracted by the how.

Now you have a clearer picture of where you are now, and where you want to go in the future. I will be sharing with you some tools to take your life forward from here to where you want to be.

100th Birthday Speech - An Example

Using the Wheel of Life we have a clearer picture of where we are at now in the 8 chosen key aspects of our life. The next step is to get a clearer picture of where we want to be. What must it be before we score a 10 in any of the 8 chosen aspects?

We can get a clearer picture of our desired life by writing our 100th birthday speech now.

Write your 100th birthday speech in the second person i.e. through the eyes of your best friend or your spouse. Imagine her reading out the speech at your 100th birthday.

Craft your speech covering each of the 8 aspects you have chosen to make up your Wheel of Life. For each aspect, write down what you desire. What would score a 10 on the Wheel of Life for you? Write it in as much detail and as vividly as possible. How do you feel? Where are you? What do you see and hear? Focus on the what, never mind the how at this stage. Take a look at the example below. 

Max's 100 Birthday Speech by His Beloved Wife

This beautiful house where we are honouring Max today, has Max’s personality all over it. In it’s over 30 rooms, the privileged young people who are here enjoy Max’s mentorship in a comfortable, safe and conducive environment. From the veranda, we can see and hear the sea, and enjoy the sea breeze. Walk to the back and we find ourselves in the hills and the ancient rainforest. The lawn is lush and Max’s favourite pastime is to watch the fishes play in his pond and reading a good book sitting by the pond. In the cool of the pavilion beside the pond, Max loves the serenity and he writes his books here that lift the spirits of millions. Max also often conducts his life coaching in this idyllic pavilion by the pond.

Look at Max. 100 years old and he still has that spring in his walk. Everyone knows that trekking and walking are Max’s passions. Everyday he walks two hours in the beautiful hills just behind this house. Wherever he goes on his training trips overseas, Max always makes time to explore the city on foot. He will let his curiosity lead him to all the little nooks and crannies around the city, just like he did during his first overseas trip as a teenager to West Malaysia and South Thailand. At 100, Max still has a well toned body, square shoulders, nice legs and abs! Besides looking good, Max’s blood pressure, blood cholesterol and sugar are all in the healthy range. He is still able to enjoy his favourite foods and drinks though not at the same sized portions as before. Oh, I must mention that Max is an expert in herbal remedies. You can ask him about it.

In the last 50 years, Max has travelled to every continent to spread the message of Whole Life Thinking™. Millions of people have benefited from his workshops and from his best selling books. Max derived great satisfaction talking to high school and university students as well as young professionals and anyone who is interested in making the most of their lives. He firmly believes that everyone deserves to raise to her highest potential and he is committed to help as many people as possible achieve it.

The thing I admire most about Max is his passion for learning, knowledge and wisdom. Max has diverse interests and he has the ability to see connections between seemingly unrelated things. At 100, he still devours books at an amazing rate. Himself an acclaimed teacher, Max seeks out the wise men of this world and treasures their wise words and example. To this day, in spite of his own considerable achievements and contributions, Max still humbly sees himself as a student. His humility keeps him growing, and his mind and pen are sharper than ever.

I love my Max and so do his children, grand children, family, friends, and his students. Max dedicates his life to helping people live their lives to its highest potential. He has that special quality to make everyone he meets feel they too can live BIG and that their lives are worth living. At every moment, he does his utmost to live his life, guided by the values of love and compassion. You being here today from around the world to celebrate Max’s birthday is testimony that he has truly touched the lives of many of us.

Max loves me with all his heart. His love is simple and pure. Child like. It is very hard to describe and I know it as I have been blessed with the privilege to feel it - just like it was when we first met. Playful as ever, Max is always making me laugh with his quick wit and unique sense of humour. Max's jokes are side splitting funny. Max always puts me foremost in his mind. He knows me better than I know myself. Max is my lighthouse – shows me the way and protects me. Always there, always upright, standing strong for me.

Max lives a simple life even though his Whole Life Thinking™ business is a global success. Franchisees whom Max had carefully selected share the same ideals and values that energise Max. Max has personally trained more than 1000 franchisees and they are spreading Max’s messages in all the continents across the world. Max is also an accomplished author. He already has 9 books that made it to the New York Times bestsellers list and he is working on another one now!

Though he lives a simple lifestyle, we all know that Max is a wealthy man. Max nurtures his finances wisely but he has never been obsessed with money. Max is sharp and alert to those opportunities that come once every few years to enhance one’s financial position. He has taken those opportunities well. The assets in his holding today are testimony of his outstanding financial stewardship. Max’s wise financial stewardship has blessed him with the financial freedom to dedicate his life to the service of others through Whole Life Thinking™.

May I invite all of you to join me in a toast to Max. To say a big thank you for adding cheer in our lives, empowering us and making a positive difference to our world. You are an inspiration for all of us to live our lives fully committed, passionate, and enlightened.

Happy 100th birthday Max! We all love you!

Your 100th Birthday Speech

When Alfred Nobel’s brother Emil died in 1864 in an accidental explosion, the newspaper reporters mixed up the brothers and published an obituary of Alfred Nobel. Alfred Nobel read his own “obituary” and was not pleased to be remembered only as the man who invented dynamite so powerful that it could reduce tall buildings to rubble in an instant.

This made Alfred rethink his life purpose and he resolved to leave a legacy other than just being the demolition man. Alfred rewrote his life script rededicating it to the pursuit of peace that eventually led to the Nobel Prize Foundation and the Nobel Prizes.

We too can re-script our life like Alfred Nobel. One of the best ways is to write our own 100th birthday speech, today. As Stephen R. Covey said, we should always "begin with the end in mind". So your 100th birthday speech is the grand vision of your entire life. It is everything you choose to have in your life.

With that purpose, imagine you are attending your 100th birthday bash. Who would be present? Imagine the people you respect and love waiting to listen to your 100th birthday speech in your honour. What would you like your party guests to hear about you?

As you sit back in your favourite rocking chair in the breezy veranda, take a look around your house and its surroundings. This is the house you always wanted. Facing the sea and back to the forest where you take your daily walks. You see people that are familiar to you from around the world. Your best friend steps up and stands at the front of your favourite rose patch in your lush lawn.

"We are gathered here today," your best friend says, "to celebrate the 100th birthday of Troy."

"It is only fitting," your best friend continues, "that those who loved Troy most should share their thoughts. Troy’s wife shall be the first." You see your life partner of many years stand up to speak. You see that she is wide eyed, and smiling, as she shares your life with all present at your 100th birthday bash.

What does she say about your relationship and the kind of partner you are? What do your children say about the kind of father you are? How do your grandchildren describe grand pa? What do your colleagues and business partners say about your work? What do your friends say about the type of friend you've been to them? And finally, what do the organizations you are in say about you?

Why are you’re here? How have you given? How are you still giving? And how will you continue using your gifts for the good of your family, friends and the community.

The 100th birthday speech honours your life's work. Do you like what you hear?

Get a clear picture in your head of how you would like your 100th birthday speech to sound. Take time to actually write that out on paper and revise it regularly. Write it in the third person as your life partner or your best friend.

Live your life as if you already know how your grand 100th birthday bash will be like. Don't be like those who, near the end of their life, regret, "If I could start all over again…" Start it right now. We are never too young or too old to write and live a new life script. Whatever your age, now is a good time to do that.

YOUR HERO'S JOURNEY

Using the Wheel of Life we have a clearer picture of where are at now regarding the key aspects of our life. Using the 100th Birthday Speech we have a clearer picture of where we want to be at regarding the most important aspects of our life. Now we need something that will help us get from where we at now to where we want to be.

There are several tools we that can help us. The Hero's Journey - a method based on the work of famed mythologist Joseph Campbell - is one of my favourites.

After detailed study of hundreds of myths and stories from around the world and through the ages from ancient to modern times, Joseph Campbell found that they all follow a similar pattern. Campbell calls the pattern, the monomyth.

Campbell found that anyone who set out on a journey of self improvement, whether in China, Europe, America, Australia or Africa, whether in medieval or modern times, goes through the Hero's Journey and follow the same stages.

Campbell said: “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”

The Hero’s Journey is a wondrous tool that serves as a kind of mental road map that focuses your attention on your intention. The Hero’s Journey maps out your original vision (the intention which you set), your destination and the stages in the journey to get there.

The knowledge that our difficulties are not unique, that everyone seeking to upgrade themselves face the same transformational changes and pains is a source of strength.

As these are abstract/ mental milestones - not physical/ tangible milestones – it complements traditional goal setting. The hero’s journey speaks to us at the gut level while traditional goal setting addresses us at the head level.

Your being here to seek self improvement makes you a hero. This is your hero's journey.

CALL TO ADVENTURE

The hero in his comfortable but Ordinary World is presented with a problem, opportunity, challenge or adventure.

The Call could be something negative like being passed over for promotion or being retrenched. The Call could also be something positive like an opportunity to be a partner in an established business.

The Call can come in the form of a message, letter, phone call, conversation, dream, or an insight.

ACCEPTING THE CALLING.

The Call to Adventure comes to those who are open to it.

More often than not the Call we hear does not sound logical. It is a feeling that comes from deep inside us. The Call makes us feel ecstatic and yet makes us uncomfortable at the same time.

We have been conditioned not to trust our feelings and intuition, but give more credence to what seems logical, practical, and predictable.

But, think about it, which truly great achievement started as something logical, practical, and predictable?

It is entirely our choice whether to take the risk to change careers, invest our nest egg in a new business, or whether we really want to sacrifice our evenings and weekends to take that degree programme.

If we choose to answer the calling then we are embarked on our Hero's Journey.

What have you being called to do or to become? It is often useful to answer this in the form of a symbol or metaphor. E.g. I am being called to be a lighthouse for my children.

CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

The Hero Crosses the Threshold, to leave his unfulfilling Ordinary World and steps into the Special World.

With one foot in the Special World, the Hero is confronted by new sights and sounds, new learnings, surprises, adventures and experiences.

The Hero feels out of place, uncomfortable, inexperienced.

The Hero’s previous thoughts of the Special World are shaken by its realities.

The Hero begins to doubt himself, “What was I thinking to leave my Ordinary World behind?”

We’ve all been in situations like this.

The first obstacles the Hero meets are the Threshold Guardians.

Threshold Guardians are often emotional obstacles. It might be a feeling, a memory, a nightmare or anything that prevents the Hero from moving forward in his Hero’s Journey.

What is your threshold? What is the unknown territory, outside your comfort zone, that the crisis is forcing you into or you must enter into in order to deal with the challenge?

MEETING THE MENTOR

When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

The Mentor can appear in many forms. It could be a wise person, a good book, a long lost friend, a pet, an insight that comes to you unexpectedly, a traumatic event that is a wake up call.

The Mentor will give the Hero a great gift and this great gift is none other than the treasures that already exist inside the Hero all this time.

These are great gifts which the Hero always has. All that is needed is for a Mentor to make the Hero aware of them.

These gifts are qualities like love, compassion, strength, joy, confidence, persistence, courage, integrity, optimism, and so on.

Once you know your gifts, you can claim them and harness their great power to serve you.

Once you claim your gifts, you have the resources to overcome the demons that stop you like fear of the unknown, uncertainty, and need for security.

Who are your mentors?

What resources do you have or which you need to develop more fully in order to face the challenge?

FACING THE ORDEAL

The way to the hero’s prize is blocked by problems and adversaries that threaten to derail his journey.

This is the hero’s darkest moment. The hero confronts death or his greatest fear.

The hero’s own shortcomings, disadvantage, or lack of knowledge make the demons seem invincible. The cause looked like it was almost lost.

The hero persists, faces up to all his shortcomings courageously, takes on the demons squarely and triumphed.

What are the demons you must face?

HERO IS TRANSFORMED

Coming through the ordeal transforms the hero into someone wiser, more capable and powerful. In overcoming the ordeal the hero:

     a. develops special skills, or

     b. discovers special resources or tools.

HERO RECEIVES THE REWARD

The hero overcome great odds, fought his way through the ordeal, defeated his demons and finally seized the reward - the treasure which he had chosen when he first set his intention, when he accepted the calling that started his hero's journey.

HERO RETURNS WITH THE ELIXIR

The hero’s journey is not complete until he uplifted the community with what he learned, gained, and accomplished. Success in completing the task which he has been called is not complete until he shared what he gained with the people who need his gifts or with those who helped him to get to where he is.

What does what you share mean to the community?

Where are you on your Hero's Journey?

WE ALL CAN BE TRULY SELF CONFIDENT

Many people think that self confidence comes from doing things that we are good at.

The trouble with such a mindset is that we do not feel confident when we are doing things which we are not yet good at, for example things that we have not tried before. Thinking this way lets us feel confident only with things which we are familiar or when things are going smoothly.

Such a limiting mindset known as reactive confidence leaves us feeling inadequate much of the time.

Familiarity and being good at one’s job are often confused with true self confidence. However, reactive confidence is not transferable. Move out of their comfort zone, and people with reactive confidence will have their confidence crumble like a stack of cards.

When we derive our confidence only from things we are good at, it would mean that most of the time we feel inadequate as we are not always doing familiar things.

Reactive self confidence is the effect of doing something well (the cause), so it cannot exist separately from its cause.

Indeed, people with a reactive confidence mindset tend to cocoon themselves in their comfort zone, and avoid anything new.

True self confidence does not rely on such a narrow track record. It comes from knowing that when we set our mind on something, we can make it so and it will be so.

The source of true self confidence is the empowering belief that we have all the internal resources in us to achieve our intention, vision and goals.

We only need to hold that belief and allow ourselves to be great.

When faced with challenges, people who are truly self confident know that no challenge can withstand their sustained attention. They research, evaluate, make plans and face their challenges with inspired action, great gusto, and dogged determination.

They know that people who will help them, financial and physical resources that they need, information resources, clients, and other necessary things, will appear. Their finely tuned Reticular Activating System programmed with their intention, vision and goals will pick these out from the universe.

True self confidence is not derived from results – there may be many setbacks before success – but it is based on our trust in ourselves that we can find the ways through or around our challenges.

So, true self confidence is a choice.

It is not something that only some lucky people have. It is something that anyone who wants it can have.

True self confidence is a cause and good outcomes are its effects.

The litmus test of true self confidence is adaptability – true self confidence can be transferred from one context to another.

True self confidence can only be tested in unfamiliar territory. A truly self confident person chooses to move towards unfamiliar territory. This is the unmistakable trait of the truly self confident.

Sir Richard Branson is an example of a truly confident person. His Virgin Group consists of over 400 companies around the world dealing in diverse industries such as travel, publishing, entertainment, retail, telecommunications, and motorsport.

In future posts, I will explain brain based techniques to be truly self confident.