Make Every Moment Count

Success Attributes and the Hero’s Journey

A 20-year study by the Frostig Center for Children with Learning Disabilities in California, found that six success attributes have a greater influence on success than such factors as academic achievement, gender, socio-economic status, ethnicity, and even Intelligence Quotient (IQ).

These success attributes are:

• Self-awareness
• Proactivity
• Perseverance
• Goal setting
• The presence and use of effective support systems
• Emotional coping strategies.

The Frostig Centre research found that successful persons with learning disabilities are much more likely to have these attributes than unsuccessful individuals.

These success attributes can lead to successful life outcomes for everyone, not just those with learning disabilities.

By crafting our life story as a Hero’s Journey, we can intergrate these six success attributes into our lives so that we can live our lives at full potential and satisfaction.

Crafting our life story enhances our self-awareness as we will be better able to recognize the strengths, weaknesses, passion, and special talents of the lead actor in our own life story - that is us!

Writing our own life story is a thoroughly proactive endeavour! We are literally taking our destiny into our own pen (I mean hands), and setting the purpose and desired outcomes in our lives. By writing our own story we are taking total responsibility for our own decisions, actions and results. What can be a greater act of self advocacy and initiative than writing and living our own life story?

Writing our own story builds our perseverance as story writers know that “Facing the Ordeal” is a necessary part of the hero’s journey to the “ultimate boon”. Story writers know that difficult situations are valuable opportunities for learning and growing. They know that The Ordeal only makes them stronger and wiser but only as long as they are not overwhelmed by adversity, back away from challenges, or give up.

Writing our own life story is a fun way to set goals. Story writers set goals that are specific, with enough flexibility to adjust to specific circumstances and situations. Our story includes our strategy, the direction, and steps we wish to take to reach our goals.

Our life story includes our support network of mentors who give us guidance, support, and encouragement on our life journey. Story writers do not simply wait for someone to come to their aid when they need support. They actively seek the support of mentors (who could be family, friends, colleagues, etc) as they are keenly aware that Meeting the Mentor is part of their life story.

Story writers recognise that stress laden phases like Crossing the Threshold, Facing the Ordeal and Transformation are part and parcel of the hero’s journey. Therefore, story writers anticipate the situations that trigger stress and have emotional coping strategies already written in their life stories. Story writers have a confident, positive, optimistic outlook as they know that the happy ending to their life story - Returning with the Elixir - had already been written!

Power Your Vision with Dreams

Using the 100th Birthday Speech method, you have created a vision of your best self for specific aspects of your life. I am going to share with you some ways to create plans, and to inspire you to take massive action to achieve your vision.

One of the ways is to harness the power of our dreams.

Our dreams are very powerful problem solving and inspirational tools.

That’s why we sometimes solved personal or work problems by "sleeping on it".

This is because when we sleep, our minds do not turn off; quite the contrary, it becomes very active when we dream. Through dreams, our minds continue to work out solutions to our life and work problems, tapping into our innate creativity and problem solving skills to do so.

Let me show you a couple of famous examples of the power of dreams.

Friedrich August Kekulé von Stradonitz discovered the chemical-organic "Structure Theory", not by experimentation alone but also by dreams!

Twice Kekulé had dreams that led to major discoveries!

Kekulé in a speech given at the German Chemical Society told the distinguished gathering that ideas for the Structural Theory first occurred to him when he was dreaming after falling asleep on a public bus while thinking about the theory.

Another dream led to the breakthrough that revealed the molecular structure of Benzene.

While thinking about the structure of Benzene on his fireside chair, Kekulé fell asleep and dreamt about twining, twisting, and whirling snakes. One of the snakes even seized its own tail. The snake seizing it's own tail gave Kekulé the circular structure idea he needed to solve the Benzene riddle that confounded scientists for years!

Kekulé told his colleagues, “Let us learn to dream!”

In 1964, golfer Jack Nicklaus was having a bad slump and routinely shooting poor scores. He then had a dream about a new golf swing which he credits for helping him suddenly regain his top form and scores.

Nicklaus said he was thinking about what could be plaguing his swing, when he fell asleep and dreamt of himself hitting good swings. He realized that in the dream he wasn't holding the club the way he had been holding it lately.

When he woke, Nicklaus held the club the way he did in his dream, and his top form and scores magically returned.

Like Kekulé and Nicklaus we too can harness the power of dreams.

Think about your vision during the few minutes before you fall asleep. If you have a vision board, take a look at it and let your mind wonder and marvel at your vision.

Let your unconscious mind take over and work on your visions while you sleep.

Trust your unconscious mind to come up with creative solutions in your dreams.

Have a note book and pen at your bedside. When you wake, recall and write down the dreams that you had before getting out of bed and doing anything else.

One of your dreams could be the key to achieving your vision.

Walls Help Us See More Clearly What We Want

What is Your Story?

All of us have a life story. Our life is a story.

Everyday we are writing our story, word by word, sentence by sentence, page by page, whether we are aware of it or not.

How will our story end? Does our story have a happy, triumphant ending? a sad, tragic ending?

We can predict the ending by looking at how our life story is unfolding….. We know how the story will end by looking at what are its undergirdings. By this I mean what is guiding our actions, and thus our results.

What are our beliefs, values and attitudes? They are there influencing our actions whether we are aware of them or not.

What are our goals? There is no direction without goals.

What are our habits? What do we do when we meet with difficulties? What do we do when we are blessed with abundance?

Whether we write our story consciously or not, there are patterns in our daily living. From these patterns we can tell how our story will unfold.

The ability to write our own story is a uniquely human gift. No other living thing has this gift.

Yet not all of us use this unique and powerful opportunity. Some of us let other people write our story. Some just let circumstances write their story.

I will be exploring ways to write our life story ourselves. If we can design a wonderful life for ourselves, why not?

One of the ways is to pattern our story after the Hero’s Journey. Mythologist Joseph Campbell found after studying thousands of hero stories across the world and through the ages that all hero stories follow a certain pattern. We can design our own hero’s journey by using this pattern.

We can also write our life story by designing it backwards. We start by writing the last chapter - our 100th Birthday Speech. This speech describes us at 100 years old and our life achievements in key aspects of our life. With this 100th Birthday Speech we can plan backwards and live forward to achieve our goals.

What is My Life's Work?

The Magic Question - What Can I Give?

What is the answer to the question, “Who am I, really?”

We ask different questions at different stages of our lives.

At puberty and early childhood, we are preoccupied with questions of identity. We ask, “Who am I, really?”

This is the mother-lode of all questions about our life. It’s not a question we answer by saying, “I’m an engineer” or “I’m a dad.” It’s a question that requires deeper responses, like what I value, what brings me joy, what motivates me, the way I want to live my life.

Many of us never found the answer in our lifetime. Some which we thought were answers led instead to stress, disease, and even tragedies.

I believe we need to ask another question in order to get the answer to this one. We need a bit of reverse engineering.

In their elder years, people look back and ask themselves, had it all been worthwhile? What have I done with my life? Have I contributed anything of lasting value? What’s my legacy?

People tend not to ask these questions when they are young.

We don’t have to wait until we are old before we ask the question, “What have I given?” The earlier we ask the question, “What can I give?” the earlier we become wise enough to know the answer to the question, “Who am I really?”

Gandhi said that the best way to find ourselves is to lose ourselves in the service of others. The answer to “Who am I, really?” has to be found by answering the call “What can I give?”

Many Americans led fulfilling, purposeful lives by answering President Kennedy’s call to his countrymen to ask not what their country can do for them, but to ask what they can do for their country.

We get the most out of life not by taking what we can for ourselves, but by giving to others. Ask yourself - What have I done lately to help people out? Have I been kind to people? Have I been compassionate? Have I been there for anyone? Listened? Volunteered for those in need?

The magic question “What can I give?” is like a switch.

Our life force flows when we ask what we can give.

When we ask "What can I give?" we will look for our talents and gifts. What we look for, we will find. We will live a life of gratitude with an abundance mindset.

Asking the question, “What can I get” only leads to life sapping busyness. We become frantic go-getters.

When we ask "What can I get?" we will be looking for what is missing in our life. We will live a life of stress with a scarcity mindset.

Change your question from “what can I get” to “what can I give” and change your life.

As Aristotle said, your profession is where your talent and the needs of the world meet.

Find yourself, become a go-giver.

A Simple Method to Craft Personal Mission Statements

Wheel of Life

As life is multifaceted, any powerful and lasting approach to personal growth and healing must encompass all aspects of our being.

The Wheel of Life is a simple and powerful tool that allows you to take a visual snapshot of your life as it is in the present moment. The Wheel of Life maps each area of our life on a circle, like the spokes of a wheel. The Wheel of Life encourages us to consider holistically all important aspects of our lives. By capturing all the key aspects of our life on just one page, the Wheel of Life promotes Whole Life Thinking ™ and prompts us to Ask Life Big Questions Now™.

Step 1 – Pick your Areas of Attention. The Wheel of Life has eight spokes, each representing a key facet of your life. First decide which 8 aspects are the most important to you. The list below contains some suggestions to help you choose. You can, of course, also create you own aspects.

Of course you're not limited to 8 aspects - it's just a useful number. Feel free to use fewer aspects or add more.

Step 2 – Decide Where You are Now. The rim of your wheel - outer edge - is 10 (you are totally satisfied), while the centre of the wheel is 0 (not even a little bit satisfied with that aspect of your life). Give each of the eight chosen aspects of your life a score out of 10, and mark a cross on the relevant spoke. Next, draw a line across each segment (or join the crosses) to reflect your score out of 10. (Remember to date your chart, so that you can come back later and assess your progress.)

So if this wheel represents your life right now, is it a bumpy ride?

Step 3 – Set Your Intentions. Now you know where you are at in each segment, the next step is to work out what your perfect 10 would look like. What does a 10 feel like? Write down your thoughts. Make it as vivid as possible. At this stage, think only of what you want and don’t be distracted by the how.

Now you have a clearer picture of where you are now, and where you want to go in the future. I will be sharing with you some tools to take your life forward from here to where you want to be.

100th Birthday Speech - An Example

Using the Wheel of Life we have a clearer picture of where we are at now in the 8 chosen key aspects of our life. The next step is to get a clearer picture of where we want to be. What must it be before we score a 10 in any of the 8 chosen aspects?

We can get a clearer picture of our desired life by writing our 100th birthday speech now.

Write your 100th birthday speech in the second person i.e. through the eyes of your best friend or your spouse. Imagine her reading out the speech at your 100th birthday.

Craft your speech covering each of the 8 aspects you have chosen to make up your Wheel of Life. For each aspect, write down what you desire. What would score a 10 on the Wheel of Life for you? Write it in as much detail and as vividly as possible. How do you feel? Where are you? What do you see and hear? Focus on the what, never mind the how at this stage. Take a look at the example below. 

Max's 100 Birthday Speech by His Beloved Wife

This beautiful house where we are honouring Max today, has Max’s personality all over it. In it’s over 30 rooms, the privileged young people who are here enjoy Max’s mentorship in a comfortable, safe and conducive environment. From the veranda, we can see and hear the sea, and enjoy the sea breeze. Walk to the back and we find ourselves in the hills and the ancient rainforest. The lawn is lush and Max’s favourite pastime is to watch the fishes play in his pond and reading a good book sitting by the pond. In the cool of the pavilion beside the pond, Max loves the serenity and he writes his books here that lift the spirits of millions. Max also often conducts his life coaching in this idyllic pavilion by the pond.

Look at Max. 100 years old and he still has that spring in his walk. Everyone knows that trekking and walking are Max’s passions. Everyday he walks two hours in the beautiful hills just behind this house. Wherever he goes on his training trips overseas, Max always makes time to explore the city on foot. He will let his curiosity lead him to all the little nooks and crannies around the city, just like he did during his first overseas trip as a teenager to West Malaysia and South Thailand. At 100, Max still has a well toned body, square shoulders, nice legs and abs! Besides looking good, Max’s blood pressure, blood cholesterol and sugar are all in the healthy range. He is still able to enjoy his favourite foods and drinks though not at the same sized portions as before. Oh, I must mention that Max is an expert in herbal remedies. You can ask him about it.

In the last 50 years, Max has travelled to every continent to spread the message of Whole Life Thinking™. Millions of people have benefited from his workshops and from his best selling books. Max derived great satisfaction talking to high school and university students as well as young professionals and anyone who is interested in making the most of their lives. He firmly believes that everyone deserves to raise to her highest potential and he is committed to help as many people as possible achieve it.

The thing I admire most about Max is his passion for learning, knowledge and wisdom. Max has diverse interests and he has the ability to see connections between seemingly unrelated things. At 100, he still devours books at an amazing rate. Himself an acclaimed teacher, Max seeks out the wise men of this world and treasures their wise words and example. To this day, in spite of his own considerable achievements and contributions, Max still humbly sees himself as a student. His humility keeps him growing, and his mind and pen are sharper than ever.

I love my Max and so do his children, grand children, family, friends, and his students. Max dedicates his life to helping people live their lives to its highest potential. He has that special quality to make everyone he meets feel they too can live BIG and that their lives are worth living. At every moment, he does his utmost to live his life, guided by the values of love and compassion. You being here today from around the world to celebrate Max’s birthday is testimony that he has truly touched the lives of many of us.

Max loves me with all his heart. His love is simple and pure. Child like. It is very hard to describe and I know it as I have been blessed with the privilege to feel it - just like it was when we first met. Playful as ever, Max is always making me laugh with his quick wit and unique sense of humour. Max's jokes are side splitting funny. Max always puts me foremost in his mind. He knows me better than I know myself. Max is my lighthouse – shows me the way and protects me. Always there, always upright, standing strong for me.

Max lives a simple life even though his Whole Life Thinking™ business is a global success. Franchisees whom Max had carefully selected share the same ideals and values that energise Max. Max has personally trained more than 1000 franchisees and they are spreading Max’s messages in all the continents across the world. Max is also an accomplished author. He already has 9 books that made it to the New York Times bestsellers list and he is working on another one now!

Though he lives a simple lifestyle, we all know that Max is a wealthy man. Max nurtures his finances wisely but he has never been obsessed with money. Max is sharp and alert to those opportunities that come once every few years to enhance one’s financial position. He has taken those opportunities well. The assets in his holding today are testimony of his outstanding financial stewardship. Max’s wise financial stewardship has blessed him with the financial freedom to dedicate his life to the service of others through Whole Life Thinking™.

May I invite all of you to join me in a toast to Max. To say a big thank you for adding cheer in our lives, empowering us and making a positive difference to our world. You are an inspiration for all of us to live our lives fully committed, passionate, and enlightened.

Happy 100th birthday Max! We all love you!

Who’s a hero?

After studying the myths and stories of cultures across the world and through the ages, Joseph Campbell concluded that no matter which culture and what era, the human race shares similar ideas about what is a hero and what heroes go through in their lives.

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”

By Campbell’s definition a hero is an everyday person who acts beyond her duty to help or save others. We all can be true heroes, if we make the choice.

We accept our Calling, cross the threshold, meet our mentors, face the ordeal, are transformed by it, receive the reward, and return to uplift our community.

The Hero’s Journey is not about drama and fury but love, joy, strength and compassion.

A non-hero is preoccupied with questions of identity, self esteem and self image.

      Who am I? How do I feel?

      How do I look to others? What must I do to look better to others?

A hero who has embarked on his Hero’s Journey to give his life to something bigger than himself, asks – How do others see themselves? What can I do to help them see their best self?

The hero identifies his special gifts, develops them to the genius level, and applies them as the Elixir for his community’s service.

The Hero’s Journey requires a healthy balance of self development and developing others.

A hero who tries to help others without first developing himself will soon find that his enterprise lacks substance and is of little effect.

Everyone wants to be a hero, to hear their own stories. Many are called, but few answered.

What will you do about that?

The Terry Fox Story

Terry Fox was 18 years old when he contracted cancer.

The disease started at his right knee and the doctors had to immediately amputate his leg in order to save his life.

This traumatic event was the moment of truth for Terry. Terry found out that the survival rate for cancer patients was very low and the only way to fight it was to find cures through cancer research. Instead of wallowing in self pity and despair, Terry heard his calling. Seeing other patients succumbed to the disease, Terry felt he had to do something for future cancer patients. He was convinced that his calling was to help raise funds for cancer research in order to fight this terrible disease.

From this point, Terry embarked on his Hero’s Journey.

Terry was not particularly athletic but he decided to raise public awareness for cancer research by running across Canada from coast to coast. Terry planned to start his ultra marathon in St. John’s, Newfoundland on the Atlantic coast and finish 8,000 kilometres later in Victoria, British Columbia on the Pacific coast. He would cover the vast distance by painfully hopping and stepping his way through one marathon a day – with an artificial leg! Terry hoped his ordeal would raise $1 each from Canada’s 24 million people. He managed to raise more than $23 million.

On 12 April 1980, Terry dipped his artificial right leg in the Atlantic Ocean and headed west to the Pacific on his Marathon of Hope.

On 1 September 1980, 143 days since he started and 5,373 kilometres into his run, Terry was forced to stop by severe chest pains. He was admitted to hospital and the next day, he tearfully announced that the cancer had spread to his lungs. He vowed to complete his cross country epic but his condition quickly worsened and he died on 28 Jun 1981.

Terry’s inspiring story tells us that any ordinary person can do so much when one finds and is consumed by a worthy purpose.

Terry said: “You don’t have to do what I did – wait until you lose a leg or get some awful disease – before you can take the time to find out what you are made of. Start now.”

We have much more time than Terry had to do something to make a difference.

What will you do to make a difference in others' lives?

Are You Growing or Dying Slowly?

What You Focus On Expands

Here is a thought exercise to illustrate the law that: "What you focus on expands."

Think of two people – one you like and one that you don’t.

Then for the person you like – find several aspects that you don’t like.

Then for the person you don’t like – find several aspects that you do like.

As you continue to do this, it won’t be long before you will change how you feel about each person.

You will start to dislike the person you liked.

And you will start to like the person you disliked.

Bounce Back When You Fall

Malaysia's Prime Minister speaking at the ASEAN 100 Leadership Forum yesterday (1st Oct 2010) recounted for his audience his electoral setback in Malaysia's 1999 General Election. That year he very nearly lost his parliamentary seat in his constituency of Pekan - retaining it by a razor thin margin of just 241 votes.

Najib shared: “If you look at 1999, it was a strange situation. My majority dropped to 241.”

It is in trying times like this that the true mettle of a man or woman is revealed.

Frustrated but resolute, Najib worked hard to regain the people’s votes and in the 2004 General Election, won the seat with a whopping majority of 22,922 votes.

In the 2008 General Election, Najib increased the winning margin to 26,464 votes, the highest obtained by any candidate of his political party that year.

Looking back at his dramatic come back with pride, the Malaysian Prime Minister adviced: “If you have the confidence, you should not be deterred by a temporary setback. What is important is the ability to recover. Fortunately, I’m still around."

Hero's Journey - The Call to Adventure

The CALL TO ADVENTURE is the second stage in the Hero’s Journey in which the hero, in his Ordinary World, is presented with a problem, challenge or adventure.

What is it that’s calling you to step out into the Special World now? Is it because there are things you are no longer willing to accept? Is it that grand vision that you set for yourself?

The Call to Adventure could be something negative like being passed over for promotion or being retrenched. The Call could also be something positive like an opportunity to be a partner in an established business.

The Call to Adventure is often delivered by a herald such as an angel or it can come in the form of a message, letter, phone call, conversation, dream, or an insight.

The Call to Adventure comes to those who are open to it.

Mahmud was a cheerful young man who ran a thriving vegetable stall in the bazaar. His friendly disposition won him many regular customers.

Mahmud was feeling comfortable when one night, the angel Kahbir appeared and told Mahmud to jump in the river. Without a moment’s hesitation, Mahmud did as the angel had told him.

Mahmud was carried down the river by the rushing waters. An old man on the bank seeing Mahmud struggling in the water threw him a rope. Mahmud grabbed the rope and pulled himself ashore.

The old man, a fish monger, brought Mahmud home and gave him a room to stay. The grateful Mahmud worked at the fish monger’s stall, and with his business acumen it was soon doing a thriving business.

Mahmud was feeling comfortable when one night, the angel Kahbir appeared and told Mahmud that it is time to move to another village. Again, Mahmud obeyed without a moment’s pause.

Mahmud walked for days before arriving at the next village. There a cloth merchant offered Mahmud a place to stay and a job in his cloth shop.

Mahmud knew nothing about cloth but he gratefully took the offer anyway. Soon the cloth merchant prospered as never before as his cloth was selling briskly with Mahmud’s help.

Mahmud was feeling comfortable when again, the angel Kahbir appeared and told Mahmud to move to another place and to a new job. Again Mahmud took up the call unquestioningly.

This cycle was repeated several more times.

When Mahmud became an old man, he was a well respected wise man and a much sought after teacher. People from far and wide came to seek his advice on all kinds of matters.

When people asked Mahmud how he became so wise, Mahmud only replied that: “It is hard to say.”

It is difficult to say because Mahmud’s talent lie in being obedient and receptive to the Call.

More often than not the Call we hear does not sound logical. It is a feeling that comes from deep inside us. The Call is beautiful and yet makes us uncomfortable.

We have been conditioned not to trust our feelings and intuition, but give more credence to what seems logical, practical, and predictable.

But, think about it, which truly great achievement started as something logical, practical, and predictable?

Learn from Mahmud to be obedient and open our hearts to the Call to Adventure.

Believe in your destiny, that you will get there triumphantly.

Grow or Be Left Behind

Prepare Well and Luck Will Come

Success is When Preparation Meets Opportunity

Success is when Preparation Meets Opportunity