Showing posts with label zM About Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zM About Me. Show all posts
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Own Your Success Story
Hi, I am Tony,
I am Asia’s only life coach helping people achieve success by showing them how to write their success stories.
Psychologists found that even though the life stories of all successful people are unique, they all follow the same pattern. Their live stories pass through the same stages – they have the same road map to success. The pattern is the same whether the success story is in Asia or in the US, in Singapore today, or in ancient China. It is in our DNA.
The reason why most people are unsuccessful is because they are not aware of this story pattern - that we have this in our DNA. Fortunately, because it is already in us, anyone can learn this success pattern in a day, and benefit for a life time.
What I do is to make people aware of this powerful story pattern that is already in our DNA.
Once you have your own life story in your hands, the qualities of successful people like self awareness, proactivity, persistence, and emotional intelligence come to you naturally.
That is why I call myself a Treasure Hunter – I help people uncover their hidden gifts through story writing.
I have half-day, one-day and two-day workshops to show you the basic story pattern, and guide you through crafting your stories like your financial freedom story, personal relationship story, career story, and so on.
I work with small groups, and also on an one-to-one basis.
Clicking on this link itrustican.blogspot.com will take you to my website which has more information on my unique programme.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Follow Your Bliss
A highly acclaimed teacher had numerous admirers and followers because of his insights about human nature.
One day, one of his many students asked him: “What difference do you want to make in people through your teachings?”
The teacher replied: “I have no such wants.”
The student stunned and confused by the teacher’s reply asked: “If you do not want to make a difference with your insights, why then do you teach?”
The teacher smiled and asked: “Why does a bird sing?”
Just follow your bliss, use your gift. Do what you do best naturally. There is no need for any external motive.
The teacher was happy just sharing his insights on human nature as a bird would be happy sharing his song.
People will change themselves on their own accord when the insight moves them.
When you find your voice, by all means SING!
Those who would benefit from your gift will help themselves.
I have found my voice, and my personal mission statement is to use my creativity and enthusiasm to inspire and empower children, young adults and elders to access their inner treasures and get the life they deserve by crafting their life story.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Get The Life That You Want By Crafting Your Life Story
Do you know that the story can also be a powerful tool to help you get the life that you want?
All of us have a story. Our life is a story.
Everyday we are writing our story, word by word, sentence by sentence, page by page, whether we are aware of it or not.
How will our story end? Does our story have a happy, triumphant ending? Or will it be a sad, tragic ending?
Whether we write our story consciously or not, there are patterns in our daily living. From these patterns we can tell how our life story will pan out.
The ability to write our own life story is a uniquely human gift. No other living thing has this gift.
Yet not all of us use this unique and powerful privilege. Some of us let other people write our story. Some just let circumstances write their story.
If we can design a wonderful life for ourselves by writing our own story, why not?
If you want to know how to craft your own legend, come and join us at Chua Chu Kang Community Club Toastmaster Club for an afternoon of sharing and fellowship with fellow Toastmasters and friends.
I will be sharing tools to write our life story ourselves.
There will be no charge but please register your attendance by sending an email to our Club President, Competent Communicator Antonia Beetsma at beetsma@jtc.gov.sg by 17 Dec so that we can prepare the light refreshments.
Looking forward to a fun and fruitful Saturday afternoon.
Thank you.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
LESSONS FROM LAS VEGAS
About ten years ago, I was in Las Vegas for a two week business trip. Before the trip, I was full of confidence that I would not be gambling.
BEFORE THE END OF THE TRIP, I GOT ANOTHER PAINFUL REMINDER ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF GAMBLING.
If there is such a thing as a gamblers’ paradise, Las Vegas is it. The moment you step off the plane, you are greeted by one armed bandits even before meeting any airport officers.
Once out of the airport, there were jackpot machines at the taxi stands, petrol stations, at the car rental company where we picked up our car, convenience stalls, literary everywhere we turned.
We were careful to select a hotel away from the main strip of casinos. But there were jackpot machines at the hotel lobby, restaurant and bar! Fortunately, they did not put slot machines in our rooms!
When we were off work, we would tour the casino strip.
The cheerful atmosphere along the strip just attracts people like moths to a burning candle. I was able to tour the strip for more than a week without touching any of the gaming machines or sitting down at the gaming tables.
I did indulge myself on the sumptuous spread of food offered by the casinos. The food was fresh, delicious, plentiful and served in a cheerful ambience. There was cuisine to pamper every palette and taste. The service was superb. They made us feel and feast like kings. Best of all, the meals were at very attractive prices. Just $10
will get you all you can eat of top quality food!
There were also the entertaining shows and shopping paradises inside the casinos.
Eventually, the excitement of the gaming room sucked me in. I began to wander around the gaming machines and at the card tables. I was fascinated by the technology of the computerised gaming machines and the behaviour of the patrons.
Now and then, I would hear a bell ringing and a siren cheerfully announcing that another person had just struck the jackpot! The people would surge forward to see who the lucky person was. The windfalls range from tens of thousands to more than a million dollars.
More than a week passed uneventfully for me. I was pleased and proud that my resolve was holding up well.
It was just a couple more days before we were due to leave Vegas, when I finally caved in to temptation. I purposely brought only twenty dollars of cash with me to the gaming hall and told myself that the worst that could happen was I lose twenty small potatoes. Who knows? I might be the next lucky one to strike the big jackpot!
I put in my first dollar coin and poof! the money was gone in a second. I put in another and another and by the fourth dollar, the machine was clanging happily! I had struck a mini jackpot and three hundred golden dollar coins tumbled noisily into the tray!!
Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang! ! !
It was exhilarating!
I was elated!! By now, I had forgotten my earlier plan to stop at only twenty dollars. My mind was only thinking about striking another jackpot. The day continued; I won some and lost some. By the end of the day, I lost all $300 I won plus the twenty dollars I brought with me.
I could not wait to come back the next day. This time I did not impose any limits on myself. All I wanted was to get back the money that I lost the day before, before returning home. The events of the previous day repeated itself. I had some good luck and lost some but by the end of the day, I had lost all $1,000 cash I had on me!
There was the option of just swiping my credit card and presto! I could have access to my bank account to play at the slot machines. Fortunately, good sense prevailed as I realised that that could have my whole bank account cleaned out in the blink of an eye. In any case, it was already time for me to return to Singapore.
Fortunately!
I learned three lessons for myself from this episode.
Do not be deceived by the seemingly wholesome attractions such as the entertaining shows, excellent food and exciting shopping. Once you get in, it’s half the battle won for the casino. These seemingly harmless activities are baits designed to draw you close enough to give the casino the opportunity they need to break down your resolve.
Do not step into the gaming room out of curiosity. Once you are in the gaming room, your willpower will surrender, sooner or later.
The second lesson is, in the long run, the casino always wins. The odds are set in favour of the casino. Even if you are lucky and strike the jackpot early in the game, if you do not take your money and run, the casino will win all of it back plus whatever money you are willing to wager.
Finally, I have to accept my losses and run NOW. There is really no chance of winning our money back from the casino. The harder we try to win our money back, the more money we will lose.
I’VE LEARNT TO STAY AWAY FROM CASINOS AFTER MY PAINFUL REMINDER IN LAS VEGAS.
BEFORE THE END OF THE TRIP, I GOT ANOTHER PAINFUL REMINDER ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF GAMBLING.
Once out of the airport, there were jackpot machines at the taxi stands, petrol stations, at the car rental company where we picked up our car, convenience stalls, literary everywhere we turned.
We were careful to select a hotel away from the main strip of casinos. But there were jackpot machines at the hotel lobby, restaurant and bar! Fortunately, they did not put slot machines in our rooms!
The cheerful atmosphere along the strip just attracts people like moths to a burning candle. I was able to tour the strip for more than a week without touching any of the gaming machines or sitting down at the gaming tables.will get you all you can eat of top quality food!
Now and then, I would hear a bell ringing and a siren cheerfully announcing that another person had just struck the jackpot! The people would surge forward to see who the lucky person was. The windfalls range from tens of thousands to more than a million dollars.
More than a week passed uneventfully for me. I was pleased and proud that my resolve was holding up well.
It was just a couple more days before we were due to leave Vegas, when I finally caved in to temptation. I purposely brought only twenty dollars of cash with me to the gaming hall and told myself that the worst that could happen was I lose twenty small potatoes. Who knows? I might be the next lucky one to strike the big jackpot!
It was exhilarating!
I was elated!! By now, I had forgotten my earlier plan to stop at only twenty dollars. My mind was only thinking about striking another jackpot. The day continued; I won some and lost some. By the end of the day, I lost all $300 I won plus the twenty dollars I brought with me.
I could not wait to come back the next day. This time I did not impose any limits on myself. All I wanted was to get back the money that I lost the day before, before returning home. The events of the previous day repeated itself. I had some good luck and lost some but by the end of the day, I had lost all $1,000 cash I had on me!
There was the option of just swiping my credit card and presto! I could have access to my bank account to play at the slot machines. Fortunately, good sense prevailed as I realised that that could have my whole bank account cleaned out in the blink of an eye. In any case, it was already time for me to return to Singapore.
Fortunately!
I learned three lessons for myself from this episode.
Do not step into the gaming room out of curiosity. Once you are in the gaming room, your willpower will surrender, sooner or later.
The second lesson is, in the long run, the casino always wins. The odds are set in favour of the casino. Even if you are lucky and strike the jackpot early in the game, if you do not take your money and run, the casino will win all of it back plus whatever money you are willing to wager.
Finally, I have to accept my losses and run NOW. There is really no chance of winning our money back from the casino. The harder we try to win our money back, the more money we will lose.
I’VE LEARNT TO STAY AWAY FROM CASINOS AFTER MY PAINFUL REMINDER IN LAS VEGAS.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
CAPLIN FUN
Every year this time, during the durian season, I am reminded of faraway Canada.About twenty years ago, when I was in school on the island of Newfoundland off Canada’s Atlantic coast, the caplin fish spawning season was one of the highlights of the year.
The caplin is a member of the herring family. The caplin is silver in colour with a cigar shaped, slender body. The female fish is about 20cm long and the male is slightly longer at 25cm.
The female fish and its roe is a favourite in Japanese cuisine known as Shishamo.The annual spawning season is in the mid summer around the June and July period (just like our durian season now). Every year this time, the caplin will migrate from the cold waters north of Greenland and Iceland, heading south to the numerous coves of Newfoundland.
After class and dinner, we will bundle our boy who was 2 years old and the girl who was 1 year old at that time into our little blue Chevy hatchback. We will take along black household trash bags and our regular laundry basket. There was no need for nets, nor hook and line.
Portugal cove nearest to our home was about one and half hour’s of leisurely driving along picturesque, windy country roads. It’s like living in a postcard.
When we arrived, we parked the car at the top of the cliff and walked a short distance down to the beach. There will usually be other people already gathering to welcome the caplin’s arrival.
Slowly the sky darkens and the sun disappears behind the hills. The sun sets at around 10 o’clock in the summer. Soon it will be dark except for the light of the full moon.
All of us, mostly families with children, looked out to the sea in great anticipation. The winds were mild at this time of the year and the surface of the sea rippled gently. The waves tip toed ashore, almost politely, as if they were afraid to make a noise.
Soon we will see, out in the distance, clouds of black blotches bobbing out in the sea’s surface. These black patches will gradually come nearer and nearer to the beach. As the dark blotches drew nearer, we could see under the moonlight that they were beautiful silver fishes. Their slender bodies glistened in the moonlight and light from our torches.The people will roll up their trousers and wade out excitedly to meet the caplin like old friends, but armed with their laundry baskets. The caplin continued to swarm towards the beach, oblivious to the presence of the people. We will wade to knee high water. The caplin will be squirming and thrashing under our feet, and all around our ankles, shins, calves, knees and thighs. You will feel like the fish giving you a massage.
People will start scooping up the fish with their laundry baskets, then wade ashore, heaving their heavy baskets and transferring their catch to trash bags and pails. The next thing we realized were the sudden blooms of yellow among the dark patches in the sea. Soon, the entire sea surface along the shoreline will be a yellow sea.
The heavily ladenned female fish had just released their golden eggs.
This was followed by bursts of milky white in the sea. Soon all the yellow was enveloped by the sperm released by the male caplin.
Usually, we would have gathered our fill of caplin in our trash bags before the fish released their egg and sperm.
We would then stand back and watch in awe and wonder at nature’s miracle before us. After about an hour, the fish will be exhausted and will be washed onto the sand by the gentle waves. They will lie on the sand, barely twitching, taking their last breath awaiting their journey’s end without protest – as if satisfied that their life’s mission had been accomplished.
Gradually, the black sand, gravel and pebbles on the beach will be completely covered by yellow caplin eggs. The golden sand was actually a carpet of caplin roe.
We would then load the fish and children back on the car and return home. It will be a long night ahead.
That night we would gut and scale hundreds of male fish, one at a time. Fortunately, the female fish need no further work as we would keep them with their eggs. The fish will be packed into zip lock bags, the type people used to pack their lunch sandwiches. We then stacked the bags of caplin in the freezer. In one night, we would stock up weeks of fresh fish – a gift from nature.Now you know why, I dream of catching fish whenever I enjoy my durians.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I WAS AN UNDER-AGED GAMBLING ADDICT
Yesterday, people at the office were all excited about the $5 million Toto draw (in Singapore). As usual, I was totally indifferent.
My colleagues and friends often wondered why I am totally oblivious to all the fun and excitement surrounding Toto or the office soccer pool during the World Cup Finals.
WHY I DON’T GAMBLE
You see, when it came to “big time” gambling, I had a head start on most people. Incredible as it may seem, I was in primary (elementary) school, nine or ten years old at that time, when I became a gambling addict and fell into serious gambling debts.
Living in Toa Payoh new town in the late 1960s, the boys would gamble while waiting for the school bus to pick us up. We gambled in many different ways. We played cards, dice, fighting spiders, fighting fish (bettas), marbles, cuti cuti (small plastic figurines), chart teh (juggling a shuttlecock in the air with one foot), ti kam (lucky draw), what we called pennies – actually iron washers, and anything else we can imagine.
We would be eager to leave the house for school, not because we love studying but because we can’t wait to try our luck with our meagre pocket money. My allowance then was 5 cents a day.
If my luck was good, I would have a bigger snack that day at the tuck shop – an extra curry puff (spicy potato pie) or an ice cream soda. If my luck was bad that day, I would go hungry and had to drink water straight from the tap.
We discovered the concept of credit very early. If you don’t have cash, you could always place your bets on credit. Believe it or not, at ten, we were gambling with money we don’t have! Sure enough I was soon struck by a streak of bad luck. I kept making bad bets until I owed my kakis (gambling mates) more than 4 dollars. That was a small fortune at that time. To put it in perspective, 4 dollars amounted to 4 months of pocket money at 5 cents a day.
It was a harrowing experience for a ten year old. My so-called friends became my creditors. To settle my debts, I had no food or drink at the tuck shop for many days. My creditors became impatient and began to harass me everyday. They threatened to get their money from my mother. That was my greatest fear as I was sure my parents would “kill” me. I lived in fear everyday for the day of reckoning.
Sure enough, the dreaded day when my creditors came banging at my door arrived. My mother was at home. After bailing me out, my mother settled accounts with me by giving me a well deserved bashing.
Looking back, I realised that my bad gambling luck early in life was really a blessing.
Though not all of my risk taking instincts had been wringed from me, from that day on, I stayed well away from any form of gambling. I would not bet on 4D, Toto, soccer pool, horses, mahjong, jackpot or even the customary friendly card games during Chinese New Year.
WHY I AM NOT A GAMBLER?
It is because I learned early, how bad it feels to owe a large sum of money with no means of paying it back and how harrowing it is to live in constant fear of creditors banging down my door.
I’ve learned my lesson and don’t relish re-living the mistake again.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
My Life From A Crate Of Old Magazines
I owe a great debt to a milk crate full of old magazines.
My family, four of us, my dad, mum, a younger brother and two younger sisters lived in a rented one-room flat in Toa Payoh town from the 1960s to the 1970s. Note that I did not say one bedroom. It was literally just one room. The whole flat, living room, bedroom, kitchen, everything except for the toilet was in one room. Six people lived in this 200 square feet shoe box.
I was in Primary (Grade) One. In those days, there weren’t as much homework as today. In our spare time, and there was plenty, we would roam the streets, known as lorongs, around the housing project, poking our noses, fingers and feet in every nook and corner.
I spent hours roaming the corridors of the flats. I was fascinated by the religious artifacts placed over and around the entrances of the flats. These religious artifacts such as niches, crucifixes, portraits, mirrors, altars, offering bins, and banners showed whether this was a Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Roman Catholic, Buddhist or Taoist home. I realised that people of many religions lived beside each other in these flats. People were living harmoniously with neighbours of all religions and faiths. Racial and religious diversity and mutual respect became second nature to me.
When roaming along the corridors, the curious child that I was, liked to peer into people's homes. In those days, people would leave the doors to their homes open unless no one was at home. In one of the homes which I passed regularly, there was an Army officer's sword hanging proudly on a wall in the living room. I dreamed of being an officer and having such a sword one day. Now there are two such swords in my home as I later signed up for the Air Force and my son is an Army officer during his conscript service.
During one of our wanderings, my brother and I roamed into the compound of the Church of the Risen Christ, not far from our home. By the way, the Church is still there in Toa Payoh town centre today. I cannot remember what attracted us. Perhaps we invited ourselves because the gates were wide open. We walked towards the fellowship hall. The Church had just had its jumble sale and people were busy clearing the hall.
A middle aged man beckoned us to approach. I cannot recall how he looked or what he said. He offered us a milk crate. I believe it was a wooden Dutch Lady condensed milk crate. In it was a stash of old magazines. Our eyes brightened, hoping they were Batman, Spiderman or Superman comics. But no, they were forty or fifty old issues of Reader’s Digest, and a few National Geographic and LIFE magazines. Our spirits dampened. Of what use were these grown up magazines for two small boys?
The magazines for grown ups were obviously well beyond our ability to comprehend. You see, I was only recently exposed to the English language. I’ve just started to learn the alphabet by reciting “A for Ali” to a picture of a Malay boy in a Songkok (a Malay hat). Maybe, my adventurous or reckless trait, depending on how you look at it, was already showing – take it first and figure out what to do with it later.
Together, my brother and I, huffed and puffed, and brought the crate of old magazines home.
We were poor and had few, if any toys. There was also no money for books, except for textbooks which were absolutely required by the school. The crate of old magazines substituted for our box of toys. It became my magic carpet to faraway places, fascinating people and tumultuous events. I would spend many, many hours by the window poring over these old magazines. Since I couldn't read too well then, I was particularly captivated by the photographs.
It was the 1960s, and the Vietnam War was at its height. Many of the pictures in the LIFE magazines were sad and gruesome. There were pictures of children who were like me. Though we were poor, I always felt they were far less fortunate. In one picture, they were tearing away their clothes, screaming in pain as they ran away in terror from a fireball of napalm. I learnt gratitude - to count my blessings and be thankful even when we didn’t have much.
I saw that people can be extremely cruel to each other.
But I also learnt that we don't have to be.
The sixties was also the decade the Americans put a man on the moon. I learnt that when we set a goal and when we want it passionately enough, everything is possible. It is OK to set big, audacious goals. If it is possible to send a man to the moon and bring him back in the sixties, what is not possible today and tomorrow?
Initially, I understood little of what were written in the magazines. I would guess the meaning of the words. Gradually as my grasp of English improved and vocabulary expanded, I began to understand the articles. These magazines were my friends for many years and they have a great influence on me, even now.
Sitting by the window, reading and rereading that stash of Reader's Digest, LIFE and National Geographic created a feeling of wonderment and awe about the world out there beyond the housing project.
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| Toa Payoh Library |
In the Reader’s Digest, there were inspiring true life stories of good people who triumphed over incredible odds. From these stories, I learnt that nothing can permanently stand in the way of the resilience and goodness of the human spirit. It triggered my passion for personal development and maximising human potential. I also enjoyed the humour pages.
The National Geographic magazines inspired my respect for nature, care for our planet and love for travel, adventure and photography.
The LIFE magazine woke my political consciousness and stoked my passion to understand how the world of geopolitics work.
Altogether, the crate of old magazines shaped many aspects of my life and influenced many of my life decisions. For example, my love for travel and adventure played a big part in my decision to join the Air Force where I stayed for twenty five years. It brought me to many fascinating places where I met many interesting people.
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| Ice berg, Newfoundland, Canada |
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| Memorial University of Newfoundland, Canada |
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| Australian National University, Canberra, Australia |
Since retiring from the Air Force my passion for personal development has taken center stage. Over the last 3 years, I have intensified my research into strategies of peak potential and have also been certified as a Master Neuro-Linguistics Programmme practitioner. My main motivation initially was to help my son and daughter as they leave for studies in the US. Now I am ready to extend the same support to other young people. I have developed my own programmes to help youths and young professionals become wiser sooner through Whole of Life Thinking™ and Asking Life's Big Questions Now™.
I sometimes wondered if the kind gentleman who gave two little boys a crate full of old Reader’s Digest, National Geographic and LIFE magazines forty years ago knew what impact he had on my life. To him, I would like to say a big thank you and that I owe him a great debt of gratitude.
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