Having had you as one of our loyal followers for some time, we are certain that you realize that we strongly believe in "taking responsibility for the next step."We have somewhat of a different view about how one interprets "bad things" which happen to us. We believe that at least some time should be spent determining whether we contributed to the event in that we placed ourselves in that situation. We call it "taking responsibility for even being there."This is not to suggest that people beat themselves up, but simply recognize that when the bad thing occurs at Stage 10, they might have been able to do something at Stages 1, 2, or 3, to avoid it.
Your words are quite encouraging to those who are sober and blessed.But when I think of those who are in pain...Think of someone whose life is surrounded by many uncontrollables. How could they look forward and take any constructive next step for their own life.Take India for example, women born in poverty was a shame to the families and have no rights at all. If you tell them to take any next step to grab a true life that will put their life in jeopardy. I know some women would rather risk their life for freedom, but when they are married with kids, they would not do it for kids' sake. And I believe there are many more women who although live in a developed or developing countries, out of their old cultures, suffered from mental abuse by their families.Is forgeting, stopping thinking and having feelings is the way for them to survive? I hope you had a better answer.
Or maybe your post is applicable to personal life (such as career planning) not life surrounded by the uncontrollable enviroment including cultures, families. Then, I believe that is completey true, that we should not blame and dwell in the pain. We should take a step forward. I post my comment in my blog, you may also respond to it. You will see your blog is one of my chicken soup for mind. Thanks.
Hi Logistician,I do agree that we do have responsibility for what happened to us.In the air force, we say that an accident (often a nasty thing) is the final link in a chain of events (or mistakes). Any accident could have been prevented by someone (such as us) intervening to break the chain.As they say, life's tests will re-enrol us if we do not learn its lessons.Still, my feeling is that whatever happened, it is crucial to take the situation (the here and now, and the future) by the horns and deal with it head on.Thanks.Hi June,yes it's certaintly hard to see how one can take charge and move forward in the circumstances you mentioned. I get my inspiration from the example of Nelson Mandela - what he and his family had to go through before he succeeded in ending apathied rule in South Africa. Mandela also moved his people forward instead of looking back and settling scores. Another inspiration is Xanana Gusmao who won independence for the East Timorese.They and many others overcome seemingly impossible odds before they finally break through.I don't have any better answer, just working on myself to be more like them.Thanks.
I respect your courage and strong will to become a better man. My thought is that for those who can, try your best to conquer or change the environment, for those who can not, change yourself. Either way, the common goal is to make our own life better. Thanks for your response.